Celebrating Life

It has been a year filled with life changes, new beginnings, amazing memories and challenging times. This summer, I left my corporate career to fulfill my passion of being a stay at home dad. After dreaming for many years of how wonderful it would be, the reality has been even better.  At the same time, I started college again to pursue my next career as an elementary school teacher. The first semester was not easy but I enjoyed learning education theory and observing two classrooms.

We visited Hawaii for the first time to enjoy my sister-in-law's wedding and attended Catherine's huge family reunion in California. We had so much fun with our West Coast family!  

Our family also enjoyed vacations in Chicago, Seattle, Charlotte, Hilton Head and Hershey.

After six years, Allison graduated from her beloved elementary school. For the graduation ceremony, I worked hard to create a year-ending video. The wild applause by the 5th graders, teachers and parents made the effort worth it!

Catherine's mom continued her battle with cancer throughout the year. However, she has been in the hospital these past six weeks and will remain in hospice care.  Catherine and her sister have spent much time away from their homes to be with their mom. 

While Allison, Matthew and I have missed Catherine, the devoted care she has provided her mom shows the love they have for each other and the values they hold.  With Catherine at her mom's bedside since before Thanksgiving (and continuing to work twice a week), our normally busy life has been a bit more hectic. While we didn't have time to make and send holiday cards this year, we are fortunate to have spent this special Thanksgiving and Christmas together at the hospital.

We were lucky to have not lost power during Hurricane Sandy and provided some relief to family and friends.  And, while the Sandy Hook tragedy took place dozens of miles away, the profound sadness struck me deeply as a father and future educator.  It is through such difficult times that give all of us the opportunity to appreciate what we have.


We have constantly reminded ourselves of all our good fortune.  We have two absolutely wonderful children and are fortunate that I could pursue my passions.  We are blessed with loving family and supportive friends like you.  Valuing time more than ever, we are enjoying the present as much as possible with an eye towards a sunny future.  


May the new year bring you much happiness and many opportunities to celebrate life!

My daughter's essay

I received this in the mail with a note from my daughter's teacher that read:

Dear Influential Person,

Enclosed you will find a copy of an essay a student wrote about you.  The student was asked to write about an influential person in his/her life.  You should feel honored to have been chosen.  You are making a difference in a child's life.

And, here is what my daughter wrote:

My Delightful Diverse Dad

Written by Allison Chiu

November 2012

His eyes dark like dirt. His hair smooth and black like a Sharpie. Not tall like a building. Nor short like a stump, but perfectly in the middle. Courageous like a tight rope walker and brave like an explorer. Funny like a clown, loving like a teddy bear. Kid-friendly like a character. Smart and accurate like a calculator. Athletic like a dog and fast like a cheetah. Strong like an elephant and helpful like a pencil. Happy like every day is his birthday and creative like an artist. That is just who my dad is.

He is the funniest and most athletic of six children and has two older brothers and three older sisters. He also have eleven myopic nieces and nephews and one intelligent nephew-in-law. My brother, Matthew, and I are his two lucky children and we are the youngest of of our cousins. He has black, silky hair, dark brown eyes and you will usually find him during the day with clip-on sunglasses over his spectacles and a well-loved Mets cap on his head. He is very organized, smart and athletic. You can trust him on almost everything as he is very trustworthy.

My dad has been an influence to me almost every day. He has helped with homework and things I don't understand. He lives by the words “Live for your passions because you only live once.” One thing he has really influenced me on is pursuing your passions. He worked at National Grid for 19 years but didn't get to fulfill his dreams of being a stay at home dad and elementary school teacher.

Therefore, he quit his job and now he stays at home with my brother and me. In addition, he is also going to school online through NYIT. Teaching has always been his passion. He taught Junior Achievement for my classes in 3^rd, 4^th and 5^th grades. Now, he is teaching a 2^nd grade class and my brother's 3^rd grade class. He loves to play and teach tennis. He taught me how to play and now I enjoy playing very much. Now he is teaching my brother and his two friends.

After elementary school graduation this past June, I came home and on the couch there were my stuffed animals. They are all very special to me and have names and personalities. They were siting with a sheet of paper which read “Congratulations Allison”. Around those words all their names were signed in different colors. That day was so special I remember it like it was yesterday. That's just one way my dad makes me feel loved!

He is my dad. I will love him no matter what and he will always be my most influential person.  

Where do I start a list of what I am thankful for?

On this Thanksgiving, I am thankful for many things.  But, where does that list start?  Should I be thankful for my parents who conceived me?  Or, perhaps the thanks go to their parents for having them?  Of course, the same dilemma applies to my wife with whom my life today would not be the same?

And, how about being thankful for our two wonderful children?  Well, we did conceive, nurture and teach them so perhaps we should be thankful to each other for what they are today.

I'm thankful to have the opportunity to fulfill my passion of being a stay at home dad and pursue another of being an elementary school teacher.  But, I did work long and hard to get to this point.  And, I guess I should be thankful that my wife chose a profession where we could afford our decision to switch careers.  Oh, and how about being smart enough to buy a house in a lovely neighborhood that we can afford on one income...  and, lucky to have done so before last decade's housing boom?

Considering the damage so many suffered during last month's storm, we are thankful that we didn't even lose power.  Who knew that living two blocks from a substation has certain advantages?  We are indeed thankful we were able to provide family and friends warm meals, hot showers and a place for fun conversation.

So, while I am still unsure of where to start a list of things I am thankful for, I am truly appreciative of what we have.  Beyond the material things, I am most thankful for the experiences of being a dad, husband, brother, uncle, son-in-law, friend, neighbor, and teacher the most.  To me, the value of one's life is measured by those experiences and not by possessions or wealth.  

To my family and friends, you enrich my life and for that, I am thankful for you.

Life as a student - so far.

I finally decided to do some time management. After plotting my remaining class assignments on a calendar, I ended up with a really packed schedule.  Essays, research papers, keystone assignments and tests will certainly keep me busy for the next seven weeks.  So far, I'm happy with my work and test scores but I have to get more efficient.  I didn't expect the transition to being a student again was going to be a breeze but I want to be able to get things done faster.  After all, I plan to add a fourth course next semester and will take on more household duties at the same time.

I've been enjoying much of my education coursework.  I'm learning a lot that will help me be a good teacher.  I could care less about my undergraduate Math course however since I just need to pass it to fulfill state requirements for liberal arts credits.  Despite that, I studied hard for my first two tests and aced them. I can't help myself!

Over the next few weeks, I need to do thirty hours of classroom observation resulting in ten pages of my best prose.  I started yesterday with three hours in a fourth grade classroom and you shouldn't be surprised that I loved it.  I made new connections, learned from an experienced teacher, met new students, observed morning routines, graded tests and picked up some nifty tips.  I thoroughly enjoyed my time and look forward to next week when I return for more, start observations in a kindergarten class and teach a Junior Achievement lesson to my son's third grade class.

As I speak to teachers, I learn more and more about the challenges they face today with the increased testing requirements and new curriculum standards.  Yes, most teachers get a nice summer break, but their workdays extend way beyond 9am to 3pm, five days a week.  Well, at least for those who care about being an effective teacher.  If I wasn't so passionate about making a positive impact to my future young students, I would reconsider my career choice.

So, my eye is on the prize and I can't wait to get there.  In the meantime, I will relearn how to be a good student, gain experience and learn, learn and learn some more.  Oh, and spend time in classrooms!

Dear Me at age 21

Dear Me at age 21 in May 1989,

There's so much I want to tell you about the next 24 years of our life!

Congratulations on graduating NYU with your degree in Marketing and Management.  Remember that idea you had about marketing cereal as a snack food?  It was a good one but it really never did take off.  And, that group project to build a bowling center in Queens to capitalize on all those planned office towers?  Well, the Citicorp Tower will be the only one there for many years so good call to drop that idea.
 
After working at the same firm throughout college, you're probably sad to leave your bosses and friend.  Have no worries.  You'll see your friend get married in Puerto Rico, they'll all celebrate your own wedding and you will all stay in touch.  Yes, I mentioned wedding...  more on that later.
 
Enjoy your upcoming career at A&S.  You'll love the work, make a good friend but work really, really long hours.  It won't be long before realizing you don't want this retail life after missing your niece's fifth birthday party.

Soon, you will face tough times.  Just know that you will become closer to him after he passes and that he will bless you with much good fortune in the future.

Believe it or not, after being in school for 16 years, you will go back for two more for an MBA.  This will open the door to Brooklyn Union Gas (again) where you'll enjoy a long and very fulfilling career.  You'll learn to love speaking in front of an audience and even present to hundreds of important people.  No, I'm not kidding.

You'll mature, gain confidence, learn to play golf, climb the corporate ladder until it didn't fit your priorities and even travel for business.  Don't be too puzzled - the company does not stay local for long. You'll even host thousands at Shea Stadium to watch your favorite sports team.  Sadly, those Mets will not win the World Series for a long time.  (Even more sadly, your idol, Dan Marino, never makes it to another Super Bowl.)  But, the best thing about this career is that you will make some really great friends.

Early on, you'll make an instant connection with a guy who will become your best man at that wedding I mentioned. You'll enjoy working with many other wonderful people who will remain in your life for many years to come.  Treat these relationships well, young man, for they will bud into some really beautiful friendships.

You'll buy a house near Disney World which won't make you rich but you won't regret the experience.  But, if you can, change our history and buy a lot of stock in Apple Computers. Don't sell it until something called the "iPad" is introduced - trust me on this one!

You'll have a total of eleven nieces and nephews.  Those young kids will grow fast - really fast.  Cherish their youth and be the best Uncle Henry you can be.  You'll truly appreciate it.

Mom will continue having some rough moments including spending two months in a hospital.  As you care for Mom, have patience for you will grow so much closer to her.  Be sure to learn as much as you can from her and about her.  She will be the greatest teacher you'll ever have.

You want to know about this wedding, right?  Fate will bring a very familiar face back to your life and you two will hit it off as if you never parted ways twelve years earlier.  You'll have a memorable and fun wedding celebration, buy a house in the suburbs (near two siblings) and have two amazing children who will bring you immense joy.  Sounds like a dream?  Nope.  It's true, my younger self.

You'll eventually retire from the corporate life to pursue your passions.  You don't know what those passions are yet but you will.  And, you'll also know when it's the right time to be courageous enough to go after them.  Shockingly, you will go back to school (in more ways than one!)

So, while this letter gives you a glimpse of what's ahead, be sure to enjoy the ride because it's a good one.  Stay true to yourself, keep a good head on your shoulder (minus the permed hair), and listen to Mom.  I know you and her will be proud of what you'll become.

-- Me (a.k.a. You) at age 45

P.S.  You're still a KISS fan and, yes, they are still around.

What was I thinking??

It's been a wonderful summer that started with Allison's graduation from elementary school, our family vacation to Seattle and San Francisco, and my retirement from a long, fulfilling career.  We ended the summer with a lot of fun family time and ten days in Charlotte and Hilton Head.  While it's been a terrific few months, it's time to move ahead with my goal of being an elementary school teacher.  But, standing in the way are 74 credits of graduate and undergraduate coursework.

As I start this journey, I can't help but ask myself, "What was I thinking??"

I never desired to leave my corporate career to be a student.  Rather, it was to be a stay at home dad and a teacher.  But, before I become the latter, I knew I had to be a student first.  I know I'm not the only adult to go back to school but for me, it's been over 20 years since I've been a graduate student so it's a daunting task in my mind.  Well, with two graduate classes starting this week, the reality is hitting me.  Syllabuses, weekly and keystone assignments, research papers - all are terms I haven't seen since Bush (the first one!) was President.

And, starting next month, I will take on the duties of managing the household.  I have actually been looking forward to these responsibilities for years.  But, the reality of that is hitting me, too.  Catherine has done a terrific job as a stay at home mom for eleven years.  And, while I have my own approach, I'll have to keep juggling all the tasks that have been done before while being a student.

As I am just starting to transition to my new life, I know that the newness will wear off and I'll settle into a groove.  I just need to manage my time and be organized like I've never had to in my life before.  After all, I have a deep desire to fulfill the goals I've dreamed of for many years.  There is much work ahead indeed but I will do this!

I can get used to this

What's not to like when you can spend so much time with your kids?  After a wonderful first two weeks of retirement, I am really settling into a life after a long career.

The week began with a really fun birthday party for Matthew at Long Island Sports Complex where I played Ga-ga for the first time (it's like dodgeball but rolling the ball to hit other players below the knee). The next day was Catherine's birthday so we had dim sum with her mom and aunt before a late dinner at one of our favorites, The Cheesecake Factory. The rest of the week, we enjoyed the driving range, Chuck E Cheese, a visit to the bank to cash in our coin jar ($180 collected in four years!), shopping and eating at the humongous Palisades Center, miniature golf, Jones Beach with three neighbor families, Chinatown for our third dim sum lunch of the week and to feed Allison's new hobby - collecting squishies, riding the subways (Matthew was thrilled to stand in the front car to watch the train navigate the tracks) and dancing in our living room until bedtime.

To capture all the fun we are having, we started writing notes of the things we enjoyed and placing them in a memory jar.  We'll read those notes at the end of the year to help us recall all these special moments.

A really special moment this week was reconnecting with my two favorite teachers whom I haven't seen in 30 years (we recently found each other on facebook.)  We all had a marvelous time catching up on old school days and our lives since 1982.  Catherine, Allison and Matthew enjoyed meeting Mr. Meltzer and Ms. Morenstein at lunch and look forward to seeing them again soon.

It's been two weeks and I really don't miss the career I enjoyed.  I do miss the fun I had with my colleagues though and a random email from one of them sparked a chuckle.  This summer is winding down fast and we have more fun ahead including next week's trip to Charlotte and Hilton Head.  School starts just around the corner for three of us... sigh.  But, for now, I can get used to this leisure time with my family really easily.

Can all weeks be THIS fun?

It's been a great first week of retired life!  Besides enjoying the exciting Summer Olympics, we treated ourselves to our first iPad thanks to generous gifts from wonderful friends and colleagues, a new smartphone after stumbling upon a great deal, a juicer after being inspired by a thought provoking documentary and a balance beam to feed my daughter's love of gymnastics.  It's been a lot of fun waiting on a daily delivery from UPS or Fed Ex!

Our kids have known that we've been planning our family's first iPad purchase for months.  They understand the thought and patience we take in buying such a pricey item.  It's rewarding to see that our kids really don't ask for much no matter which classmate has what.  Our fingers are crossed that the foundation we have set will continue to shape them into responsible consumers as they get older.

Just hours before buying a basic phone, I reviewed a daily Screaming Penny email of online deals.  Coincidentally, Amazon had a great deal that day for a nice smartphone.  I purchased a much better device (giving the kids another platform to play online games) at a lower net price than what I was going to buy.  Unfortunately, I can't transfer my number because of my former employer's billing privacy issues.

Utilizing a free trial to Amazon Prime, I watched "Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead", a film about the health benefits of a diet of fruit and vegetable juice.  I was inspired to give it a try.  Two days later, we made tasty concoctions with our new Hamilton Beach juicer.  I hope to supplement our diets with healthy juices particularly when I want a snack while doing my online studies.  Have you seen this documentary?  Do you juice?

After months of consideration, I ordered a balance beam for our daughter.  It was to our surprise and delight that it arrived less than 24 hours after placing the order.  We all love it!  Oh, and I also ordered a little laser light thing so we can dance to cool effects.  I hosted a playdate/dance party with neighbor friends while the moms went to dinner and the six kids had a blast.  Besides dancing, my kids and I swam and played ping pong as they continued to enjoy their summer.

Besides all the fun and games this week. I reorganized a closet, paid tuition for my upcoming graduate classes, applied to a local community college to complete required undergrad credits, serviced both cars, and laundered all my dress shirts to store for a few years.

This week will end with a baseball game at CitiField thanks to a thoughtful friend and a party with 18 kids celebrating our son's 8th birthday.  I know not all weeks will be this fun but I'm certainly glad my retired life is off to a great start.  I hope you're enjoying your summer!

Closing this chapter

Closing a long, memorable, fulfilling chapter of my life has not been easy mainly because I have really enjoyed my 19 year career.  I've had plentiful opportunities to learn, grow, contribute, lead and inspire.  But, it is the opportunities to work with many terrific people that I will remember and miss the most.  

The fun times I've had are countless.  I remember starting with 13 other trainees in a whirlwind tour of the company, making friends who became regular partners in traveling, tennis, rollerblading and dining, working in a once-in-a-lifetime team where we constantly shared laughter as we grew through life changes together, and leading energetic colleagues in annual dragonboat races.  I've had the fortune of meeting individuals who have provided thoughtful friendship, guidance, inspiration and support in my career.

The challenging times at work have proven to be the most memorable.  From long days and nights are results that I am most proud of.  These include starting a multicultural marketing campaign to growing an engaged employee resource group to leading the company's efforts in creating an inclusive culture to helping restore electric power after damaging storms.  

During my career, I've shared so many life changes with my colleagues. Together, we've been through marriages, births, tragedies, and crises.  And, it is through these times where I've been so glad to be part of this supportive community to share many wonderful joys, ease the occasional sorrow and work together to stand up to unexpected challenges.  

I am thankful for my experiences for they have provided me the opportunity, skills and confidence to pursue my passions.  So, as I walk away today, I look back with pride at all that I accomplished and the lives I've touched.  I will retain some great memories and lifelong friendships.  Leaving isn't easy but I know what I have to look forward to is worth it.

My daughter quoted me in a note she wrote the other day:  "Live live for your passions because you only live once."  I hope we each get the opportunity to do that.

Allison graduates elementary school. So, why am I so sad?

On the eve of the my daughter's elementary school graduation, I am reminded yet once again of how fast time goes.  Tomorrow's milestone marks the end of Allison's six years in a familiar school setting where she has enjoyed and learned a great deal.  In just a few months, she'll begin three short years of middle school.  I wish there was something to make time slow down just a little bit so we can enjoy just a little while longer.  

I remember sending her to kindergarten and marveling at how the teacher skillfully coordinated her students busy 4 hour routine. While her first grade teacher was a bit too passive, her second grade teacher was out of this world.  No doubt that she is Allison's favorite.  Third grade was fun and I started teaching Junior Achievement in her class.  She really blossomed in fourth and fifth grades and became a confident individual who is well liked and respected by her peers.  I was determined to be very involved in her last elementary school year and have been fortunate to have numerous opportunities as a class parent and Junior Achievement volunteer.  But, all good things come to an end whether we agree or not.

Allison has grown so much in her elementary school years and I am proud of all that she has accomplished and learned.  After being in the same school for the past three years, it will be a little strange to see Allison and Matthew boarding different buses heading in different directions.

Tomorrow, she boards that elementary school bus just one more time.  I am sad that this milestone has come so quickly.  But, I'll be beaming at the same time as my daughter and her classmates celebrate the end of their elementary school career tomorrow.  Thank goodness Matthew will have three more years before he moves on.  At that time, I will be a mess.  Tomorrow is just practice.

I am pursuing my passions!

I am leaving my corporate career to be a stay at home dad and pursue a Master's degree and certification as an elementary school teacher. Both of these new endeavors have been passions of mine for many years. And, while I continue to enjoy my corporate career even after 19 years, I know that I have just one life to live and that I want to live life for my passions.

Life is short. Time flies by. Children grow too fast. These statements are echoed often especially if you are a parent. While you cannot control time, you can make decisions to make the most of your time. It starts with identifying your priorities and passions. Even before Catherine and I had children, I had expressed my desire to be a stay at home parent. While my career grew, the desire to be at home to nurture our children never diminished. A few years ago, I made a bold decision to leave a high profile role that I really enjoyed because the responsibilities took me further away from my desire to be home. I made a life goal to be an active parent of my young children and assumed a role that allowed me to enjoy significantly more time with my children. While that has been a wonderful move, I still have not fulfilled my desire to be a stay at home parent. And, with my children growing from little kids to big kids to the cusp of teenagehood, the time to fulfill my desire was getting short. Last summer, after much thought and discussion, Catherine and I agreed to switch roles allowing me to assume the stay at home parent responsibilities she has enjoyed for over ten years. We agreed to a yearlong transition period to allow each of us to enjoy the roles we are leaving and prepare for our future ones.

Secondly, my new role will allow me to pursue another passion to be an elementary school teacher. I think I've always had the desire to teach in me. I vividly recall when I was 10 that I pretended to teach to an imaginary class in my bedroom. But, as I grew up, I never had the self confidence to believe I could teach. But, as my corporate career grew, so did my confidence. A few years ago, I took the opportunity to support my company's commitment to the local community by volunteering to teach lessons in personal finance for Junior Achievement. And, I loved it. I taught more lessons and my love for teaching grew. I would look forward to the lessons with exuberance and return to tell my wife and friends all the details of each lesson with equal excitement. I found a passion. I found my calling.

I begin my new responsibilities as a stay at home dad and a full time student in a few months. I am ready and I am very excited.