13

13 years ago tonight, I became a dad.  I remember clearly the hours, minutes and seconds leading up to 9:59pm on April 12, 2001 when Catherine gave birth to our daughter, Allison.  Our newborn baby cried for just a few brief moments and just stopped to observe her new world.  She took it all in before being swaddled and presented to Catherine and I.  Since then, we have had countless joys and made many memories together.  

Allison continues to make us proud with the person she is.  Her caring soul, growing maturity, creative intelligence and clear sense of self defines our daughter.  Others may see her friendly personality, beauty, musical talents, academic achievement and athletic abilities but her best qualities are those she displays at home.  Her self-determination to do well against her own expectations far outweigh any desire for public recognition.  I am humbled to be Allison's dad.

Are your clocks going too fast, too?

Remember the Y2K scare from the year 2000?  Computers would stop working and our lives would be impacted in many ways.  Well, nothing happened and all was fine.  Or, was it?  I’m not so sure.  I think something did happen.  It seems that since then, time has accelerated.  Days seem shorter and months go by faster.  Perhaps Y2K sped up our clocks.  It’s the only explanation for how fast time is going for many of us. How else can I explain that 2013 has zoomed by in what seems like eight months?

It has been a very busy and eventful year for us.  We were saddened with the peaceful passing of Catherine’s mom after a long battle with cancer.  Since then, Catherine and her sister have had their hands full taking care of their aunt and cleaning out their mom’s apartment.  Seeing them care for their mom and aunt this year is a compelling reminder to enjoy the youth we have today especially since time seems to flying by at unprecedented speeds.

Allison is just a few months from being a teenager and has continued to mature in so many ways.  Matthew turned 9 and it seems he was a toddler just a short while ago.  I am so fortunate to be their dad.  I could not have imagined two better kids.  I just wish they could stay kids for a little while longer.

I have enjoyed my first full year as a stay at home dad immensely.  Making breakfasts and lunches, getting them to/from the bus stop, chauffeuring them to/from school, helping with homework, preparing dinner, and doing laundry may sound tedious but I have enjoyed it.  I treasure the opportunities to be with my children especially knowing how fleeting the moments can be.

Being a full time student has consumed a great deal of time and energy.  I’ve had classwork every month of the year (if I count the two days in August!)  I love what I’m learning but that has meant being on my laptop for 8 hours or more most days of every week to complete 33 credits this year.  Is it any coincidence my ability to see near objects has diminished significantly?

We’ve had a lot to love and remember about 2013.  Cruising on the NCL Breakaway, fun times with Matthew’s baseball team on and off the field, and Disney World were just some of many fun memories.  No matter what we do, it’s being with family and friends that really make our lives terrifically fulfilling.  We cherish those relationships and are thankful for each of those many special ones. 

I hope you also have many wonderful memories of your 2013.  With time moving so fast thanks to a mysterious Y2K bug, we need to make the most of every bit.  Here’s to an amazing 2014 for all of us.  Let’s start now!

Cruising Fun!

We just got back from a super fun week on the brand new Norwegian Cruise Line Breakaway which is billed as the largest cruise ship ever to home port in New York City.  We had an unforgettable family cruise on the NCL Spirit in 2007 and a great trip on the NCL Jewel in 2010.  While the Breakaway had the same itinerary to Florida and the Bahamas, we figured we would enjoy the amenities of the larger, six month old vessel and we sure did!  The Breakaway was immaculate, the service was terrific and the entertainment, activities and food were all fantastic.  Check out this 2 minute review of the seven days of fun.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQ16syq-xI8&fmt=22

We have our eyes on Breakaway's sister ship, the Getaway, which arrives in Miami in early 2014.  And, we are looking forward to an even larger ship, the NCL Escape in 2015.  It's time to start saving again!

My first summer as a stay at home dad was amazing!

Backpacks are ready. Kids will be in bed early for the first time in over ten weeks. Another school year is upon us.  While new memories are ahead, I look back at an amazing summer - my first as a stay at home dad.

We enjoyed so many new experiences including our first Six Flags theme parks (Great Escape and Great Adventure), daring ropes course, NFL football game and visits to the Bronx Zoo.  Two Bon Jovi concerts and All Star Game Weekend events at CitiField were thrilling. Road trips to Albany and South Jersey were fun.  Throughout the summer, we played lots of baseball and tennis, competed in town field activities, swam in the town pool and just enjoyed time with friends and family.

I thoroughly enjoyed creating and leading an instructional sports program and coaching my son's baseball team.  The players and their families even won a contest by cramming 25 of us into a VW Beetle at a minor league baseball game.  This summer, I somehow managed to complete three summer courses and deliver a TEDx talk at my high school.

So, while the summer break is over, I am satisfied we made the most of it. I hope you enjoyed these few months as well.  Time moves so fast for many of us and we can only aim to enjoy it to the fullest.  Now that the first day of school is upon us, what do we do next?  We're off to Disney World!

Click here to watch 25 of us cram into a VW Beetle in 35 seconds.

Nine already?!?

Nine.   My son just turned nine.  Wow… and yikes!  I shudder with sadness at thoughts of how much he will continue to grow and change.  I don’t dread the future because of the different challenges it will present.  I dread it because that will mean my son will no longer be the sweet young boy he is today.  While he is just one year from having two digits for his age, Matthew still has much of the innocence that only a young child can have.  Oh, but for how much longer will I enjoy that?

Matthew reminds me so much of myself when I was his age.  He is kindhearted, gentle, polite, agreeable, analytical, imaginative, and never suffers from boredom.  Matthew has a positive and pragmatic outlook on life and the future. He loves being at home with his family but always has a fun time with his friends.  He enjoys school and academic challenges and while not naturally gifted in any particular sport, he is willing to work to improve for his own personal achievement.  My siblings even confirm that my son and I share many similar physical characteristics and personality traits at his age.

We do have different experiences however.   I didn't have the affectionate relationship with my dad as Matthew has with me.  I never snuggled with my dad nor did I learn to play any sports from him except if you consider reading the horse racing pages of the newspaper a sport.  I didn't get long winded life lessons nor zany attempts at humor that Matthew is subjected to.  My dad was a very reserved and stern man.  While I can’t turn back the hands of time, I know I can maximize the chance I have now.  The days of Matthew’s childhood are going fast and I am determined to enjoy as much of them as I can.

Happy birthday to the most wonderful son this Daddy could ever ask for.

The stress over assessments... sigh.

"Filling in the bubbles" testing is not new.  We completed such tests when we were in elementary school and they have been administered to students before and after us.  However, this year's state assessments in public schools to 1.3 million of third to eighth grade students in New York State, including over 200,000 on Long Island are causing more stress than usual for two reasons.  The tests are based on new standards and, for the first time, students' scores will affect individual teacher's performance reviews.  It's a perfect storm to cause concern for districts, administration and teachers who are all worried about how the assessment results will reflect on them. It's absolutely understandable especially considering how maligned the education profession has been by the public in recent years.  Educators walk on eggshells these days and that's a shame for many who are hardworking and dedicated to their profession.

Unfortunately, young students can be caught up in the stress.  But, that shouldn't be the case.  Parents need to remain calm and assure their children that this is just another assessment like they took a year ago and like the ones we took when we were in school.  Parents could share that their children are among many, many students taking the assessments.  If they have been near the top of their class throughout this school year, their assessment results will reflect that.  If they have struggled, the assessment results may get them the additional help they need next school year.  Most of all, parents should not add to the stress their children may be getting from principals, teachers, other parents and other students.  It's just another round of tests that will further validate what parents probably already know about their child's academic proficiency.

The bigger philosophical issues are whether the curriculum should be so rigorous and the assessments be such high stakes.  Well, Americans haven't been happy with how their students compare to others around the world.  So, we have a tougher curriculum meant to standardize widely varying state standards and increase the rigor of K-12 education so that we can feel better about how we compare.  And, the public seems to want teachers to be held accountable for their students' results.  So, we are now linking those results to teacher evaluations.  This is quite a simplification of the larger issues, but it just seems the public got what it asked for.     

As a future educator, it pains me to see how teachers are vilified by some as if they are enemies to parents.  It's a sad part of our culture.  It hasn't deterred me from pursuing my dreams of teaching though.  I've got over two years before I step into the changing profession (hopefully) and I'm sure even more changes will take place by then.  Coming from a corporate career where change and reorganization was constant from the my first year to my last, I hope I can fit right in!

My little girl is not so little anymore...

Twelve years ago today, one of my dreams came true.  I became a dad.  And, the experience has been far more joyful than I could have dreamed it would be.  I am deeply humbled to have such a wonderful daughter.

How did I get so lucky?  Allison is mature, intelligent, caring and beautiful.  She was born in the year of the snake and she is graceful and elegant as one.  She possesses a remarkable memory, fun personality and has always achieved academically.  

Some of the things that endear her to my heart the most are her love and appreciation of family.  My mom gave her a Chinese name that means to remember Grandma forever.  And, when I think of how much I miss my mom, one look at Allison reminds me of her love and devotion.

To her small circle of friends, she may be called Alli but she has always been my Sugar, a child quickly growing into a young adult who holds onto some comforts of her youth.  She is surrounded by many personalities with furry exteriors and insides of soft cotton.  Often, she can be found with our family iPad learning about and watching gymnastics and other squishy hobbyists.  She loves shopping with me and understands a good bargain. We have great conversations and opportunities to learn from each other.  And, she loves solving my lunchbox riddles and laughing at my zany, often spontaneous, humor.

But, how can twelve years go by so quickly?  I’m satisfied that I have made the most of this time and am so thrilled to be even more involved now.  The night she was born is a vivid memory as are so many other wonderful moments together.  From the first times we rode Dumbo, hit a tennis ball and saw a Barry Manilow concert to Allison playing viola in music festivals, graduating elementary school, and enjoying her favorite restaurants, we have enough memories in just twelve years to fill a library with scrapbooks.

I cherish the loving relationship we have and look forward to many more wonderful memories.  I am the happiest and proudest dad I know.  And, Allison will always be Daddy’s little girl – well, perhaps not so little anymore.