Nine already?!?

Nine.   My son just turned nine.  Wow… and yikes!  I shudder with sadness at thoughts of how much he will continue to grow and change.  I don’t dread the future because of the different challenges it will present.  I dread it because that will mean my son will no longer be the sweet young boy he is today.  While he is just one year from having two digits for his age, Matthew still has much of the innocence that only a young child can have.  Oh, but for how much longer will I enjoy that?

Matthew reminds me so much of myself when I was his age.  He is kindhearted, gentle, polite, agreeable, analytical, imaginative, and never suffers from boredom.  Matthew has a positive and pragmatic outlook on life and the future. He loves being at home with his family but always has a fun time with his friends.  He enjoys school and academic challenges and while not naturally gifted in any particular sport, he is willing to work to improve for his own personal achievement.  My siblings even confirm that my son and I share many similar physical characteristics and personality traits at his age.

We do have different experiences however.   I didn't have the affectionate relationship with my dad as Matthew has with me.  I never snuggled with my dad nor did I learn to play any sports from him except if you consider reading the horse racing pages of the newspaper a sport.  I didn't get long winded life lessons nor zany attempts at humor that Matthew is subjected to.  My dad was a very reserved and stern man.  While I can’t turn back the hands of time, I know I can maximize the chance I have now.  The days of Matthew’s childhood are going fast and I am determined to enjoy as much of them as I can.

Happy birthday to the most wonderful son this Daddy could ever ask for.

The stress over assessments... sigh.

"Filling in the bubbles" testing is not new.  We completed such tests when we were in elementary school and they have been administered to students before and after us.  However, this year's state assessments in public schools to 1.3 million of third to eighth grade students in New York State, including over 200,000 on Long Island are causing more stress than usual for two reasons.  The tests are based on new standards and, for the first time, students' scores will affect individual teacher's performance reviews.  It's a perfect storm to cause concern for districts, administration and teachers who are all worried about how the assessment results will reflect on them. It's absolutely understandable especially considering how maligned the education profession has been by the public in recent years.  Educators walk on eggshells these days and that's a shame for many who are hardworking and dedicated to their profession.

Unfortunately, young students can be caught up in the stress.  But, that shouldn't be the case.  Parents need to remain calm and assure their children that this is just another assessment like they took a year ago and like the ones we took when we were in school.  Parents could share that their children are among many, many students taking the assessments.  If they have been near the top of their class throughout this school year, their assessment results will reflect that.  If they have struggled, the assessment results may get them the additional help they need next school year.  Most of all, parents should not add to the stress their children may be getting from principals, teachers, other parents and other students.  It's just another round of tests that will further validate what parents probably already know about their child's academic proficiency.

The bigger philosophical issues are whether the curriculum should be so rigorous and the assessments be such high stakes.  Well, Americans haven't been happy with how their students compare to others around the world.  So, we have a tougher curriculum meant to standardize widely varying state standards and increase the rigor of K-12 education so that we can feel better about how we compare.  And, the public seems to want teachers to be held accountable for their students' results.  So, we are now linking those results to teacher evaluations.  This is quite a simplification of the larger issues, but it just seems the public got what it asked for.     

As a future educator, it pains me to see how teachers are vilified by some as if they are enemies to parents.  It's a sad part of our culture.  It hasn't deterred me from pursuing my dreams of teaching though.  I've got over two years before I step into the changing profession (hopefully) and I'm sure even more changes will take place by then.  Coming from a corporate career where change and reorganization was constant from the my first year to my last, I hope I can fit right in!

My little girl is not so little anymore...

Twelve years ago today, one of my dreams came true.  I became a dad.  And, the experience has been far more joyful than I could have dreamed it would be.  I am deeply humbled to have such a wonderful daughter.

How did I get so lucky?  Allison is mature, intelligent, caring and beautiful.  She was born in the year of the snake and she is graceful and elegant as one.  She possesses a remarkable memory, fun personality and has always achieved academically.  

Some of the things that endear her to my heart the most are her love and appreciation of family.  My mom gave her a Chinese name that means to remember Grandma forever.  And, when I think of how much I miss my mom, one look at Allison reminds me of her love and devotion.

To her small circle of friends, she may be called Alli but she has always been my Sugar, a child quickly growing into a young adult who holds onto some comforts of her youth.  She is surrounded by many personalities with furry exteriors and insides of soft cotton.  Often, she can be found with our family iPad learning about and watching gymnastics and other squishy hobbyists.  She loves shopping with me and understands a good bargain. We have great conversations and opportunities to learn from each other.  And, she loves solving my lunchbox riddles and laughing at my zany, often spontaneous, humor.

But, how can twelve years go by so quickly?  I’m satisfied that I have made the most of this time and am so thrilled to be even more involved now.  The night she was born is a vivid memory as are so many other wonderful moments together.  From the first times we rode Dumbo, hit a tennis ball and saw a Barry Manilow concert to Allison playing viola in music festivals, graduating elementary school, and enjoying her favorite restaurants, we have enough memories in just twelve years to fill a library with scrapbooks.

I cherish the loving relationship we have and look forward to many more wonderful memories.  I am the happiest and proudest dad I know.  And, Allison will always be Daddy’s little girl – well, perhaps not so little anymore.

Opportunities to learn are everywhere

Life constantly presents learning opportunities especially if you are a parent to young children.  My out-of-the-box decision to leave a fulfilling career to pursue my passions has been an enriching life lesson to my kids.  My wife and I have connected how the life choices we made since college allowed me to do this.

Not everything in life is as inspiring as going after your dreams but much can present opportunities to learn.  Death of a loved one causes great sadness but the challenge is how to overcome that and move on with life while cherishing wonderful memories.  It's a harsh lesson for children whose heads are full of dreams and possibilities for their own lives.  But, it can be an enriching experience as well.

Our children recently lost their last grandparent.  Since then, we have had the opportunity to share our feelings, answer questions, reflect on warm memories, learn more about family history, instill culture, and discuss our beliefs and those of others on what happens after a person passes.  Through open and thoughtful conversation, our children can better understand how to cope with their emotions and what the loss means to each of us.  A sad event like this can help children better appreciate the lives they have.  It's a valuable life lesson they will never forget.

So, look for opportunities in your own lives to learn and teach.  They exist.  We just have to make the most of them.

Six months later...

Six months ago, I worked the last day in my 19+ year career at National Grid.  I honestly do not recall much from that Friday.  By the end of that week, I had all my farewell lunches and packed my memories to take home.  So, my last day was rather anti-climactic.  I wasn't disappointed though as I left a fulfilling career to start a new life - a life I had long dreamed about.

Being a stay at home dad has been all I had imagined. I love preparing the family's meals, helping with homework, doing the housework and being more active with school activities.  I've always been a homebody which is a characteristic of a person born in the Year of the Sheep and someone born under the sign of Cancer.  I am both a Sheep and a Cancer so perhaps this astrology stuff has some merit.

I had not originally planned to start my studies towards a graduate degree in education so soon.  But, I got ambitious and anxious to start my new profession.  As I started classes in early September, I began to realize how difficult it was to be a student again. A wonderful vacation in Hawaii and loss of internet for two weeks following Hurricane Sandy did not help with staying on schedule with schoolwork.  But, as any determined college student would do, I crammed to complete research papers, keystone assignments and other semester-ending work and got great grades in my three classes.

I underestimated how much work online classes can take.  Since the professors provide no instruction (at least in my first seven online courses), students have to do all their own research.  In my case, I am actually very interested in learning my new field of study and my research usually takes me off on interesting but time consuming tangents.  I need to get more disciplined to focus on the specific tasks at hand.

It's hard to believe it's been six months since I left my career.  I am a bit surprised that I really do not miss what I did.  I do miss my friends and colleagues but have maintained relations through lunches, emails and facebook.  I certainly haven't been bored at home with my busy schedule.  Instead, I am busier now than I was at work... and I'm loving it! 

Celebrating Life

It has been a year filled with life changes, new beginnings, amazing memories and challenging times. This summer, I left my corporate career to fulfill my passion of being a stay at home dad. After dreaming for many years of how wonderful it would be, the reality has been even better.  At the same time, I started college again to pursue my next career as an elementary school teacher. The first semester was not easy but I enjoyed learning education theory and observing two classrooms.

We visited Hawaii for the first time to enjoy my sister-in-law's wedding and attended Catherine's huge family reunion in California. We had so much fun with our West Coast family!  

Our family also enjoyed vacations in Chicago, Seattle, Charlotte, Hilton Head and Hershey.

After six years, Allison graduated from her beloved elementary school. For the graduation ceremony, I worked hard to create a year-ending video. The wild applause by the 5th graders, teachers and parents made the effort worth it!

Catherine's mom continued her battle with cancer throughout the year. However, she has been in the hospital these past six weeks and will remain in hospice care.  Catherine and her sister have spent much time away from their homes to be with their mom. 

While Allison, Matthew and I have missed Catherine, the devoted care she has provided her mom shows the love they have for each other and the values they hold.  With Catherine at her mom's bedside since before Thanksgiving (and continuing to work twice a week), our normally busy life has been a bit more hectic. While we didn't have time to make and send holiday cards this year, we are fortunate to have spent this special Thanksgiving and Christmas together at the hospital.

We were lucky to have not lost power during Hurricane Sandy and provided some relief to family and friends.  And, while the Sandy Hook tragedy took place dozens of miles away, the profound sadness struck me deeply as a father and future educator.  It is through such difficult times that give all of us the opportunity to appreciate what we have.


We have constantly reminded ourselves of all our good fortune.  We have two absolutely wonderful children and are fortunate that I could pursue my passions.  We are blessed with loving family and supportive friends like you.  Valuing time more than ever, we are enjoying the present as much as possible with an eye towards a sunny future.  


May the new year bring you much happiness and many opportunities to celebrate life!

My daughter's essay

I received this in the mail with a note from my daughter's teacher that read:

Dear Influential Person,

Enclosed you will find a copy of an essay a student wrote about you.  The student was asked to write about an influential person in his/her life.  You should feel honored to have been chosen.  You are making a difference in a child's life.

And, here is what my daughter wrote:

My Delightful Diverse Dad

Written by Allison Chiu

November 2012

His eyes dark like dirt. His hair smooth and black like a Sharpie. Not tall like a building. Nor short like a stump, but perfectly in the middle. Courageous like a tight rope walker and brave like an explorer. Funny like a clown, loving like a teddy bear. Kid-friendly like a character. Smart and accurate like a calculator. Athletic like a dog and fast like a cheetah. Strong like an elephant and helpful like a pencil. Happy like every day is his birthday and creative like an artist. That is just who my dad is.

He is the funniest and most athletic of six children and has two older brothers and three older sisters. He also have eleven myopic nieces and nephews and one intelligent nephew-in-law. My brother, Matthew, and I are his two lucky children and we are the youngest of of our cousins. He has black, silky hair, dark brown eyes and you will usually find him during the day with clip-on sunglasses over his spectacles and a well-loved Mets cap on his head. He is very organized, smart and athletic. You can trust him on almost everything as he is very trustworthy.

My dad has been an influence to me almost every day. He has helped with homework and things I don't understand. He lives by the words “Live for your passions because you only live once.” One thing he has really influenced me on is pursuing your passions. He worked at National Grid for 19 years but didn't get to fulfill his dreams of being a stay at home dad and elementary school teacher.

Therefore, he quit his job and now he stays at home with my brother and me. In addition, he is also going to school online through NYIT. Teaching has always been his passion. He taught Junior Achievement for my classes in 3^rd, 4^th and 5^th grades. Now, he is teaching a 2^nd grade class and my brother's 3^rd grade class. He loves to play and teach tennis. He taught me how to play and now I enjoy playing very much. Now he is teaching my brother and his two friends.

After elementary school graduation this past June, I came home and on the couch there were my stuffed animals. They are all very special to me and have names and personalities. They were siting with a sheet of paper which read “Congratulations Allison”. Around those words all their names were signed in different colors. That day was so special I remember it like it was yesterday. That's just one way my dad makes me feel loved!

He is my dad. I will love him no matter what and he will always be my most influential person.