Life is Long Enough for Detours, Pauses and Bumps in the Road

Last month, I started the final semester of my graduate studies.  After two years of online coursework, I was more than excited to begin on-the-job training as a student teacher.  Not only did I have a short commute to the school, I knew several parents, students and staff members including the outstanding principal.  It seemed like an ideal situation but one critical element was missing.  Perhaps blinded by my eagerness to be in a classroom, I underestimated the importance of an effective working relationship to foster a productive learning environment.  It would not be fair to share just my point of view here but suffice it to say that differing expectations led to a lack of healthy communication - or was it the other way around?

After the first few weeks, I reflected upon my education which I take very seriously so I can be prepared as much as possible to be a novice teacher.  With just 14 weeks in one's life to learn as a student teacher, I value this apprenticeship greatly.  Unfortunately, I was not in the dynamic learning environment I expected and wanted.  While most student teachers would try to just "get through" with hopes of a passing grade, I do not want to compromise my commitment to learn.  The opportunity is just too valuable and would be wasted if I'm not learning as much as I feel I can.  It would be a disservice to me and my future students if I didn't take this critical learning experience earnestly.  

After much deliberation with my wife and my supportive professors, I chose to withdraw from this semester and start over in the fall with an increased focus on the critical success factors.  With a great amount of thought behind my choice, I am confident this is the best decision for me.  It's not the first time I've made bold but deliberate decisions about my career.  Thankfully, they have all worked out really well.  Besides always believing things happen for a reason, I will still be ahead of my goal of graduating in May 2016.  I had intended to start my degree program after enjoying a year as a stay at home dad.  Instead, I got ambitious and hit the books hard just a month after retiring from my corporate career and haven't stopped since.

My unexpectedly challenging situation has been a great teaching moment at home.  I've been transparent with my kids with my thought process and decision.  I've shared that it is important to make personal goals, to stay true to those objectives, and to make decisions with thoughtful consideration of information and consequences.  I also stress that their happiness and well-being are paramount factors.  I tell them that with age comes the wisdom to know that life is long enough for detours, pauses and bumps in the road. Our actions are vital lessons for our children. I want my own to feel empowered to make thoughtful decisions about their own choices.

No rest for me though.  My wife has already started a to-do list for me! 

25 Things About Me - (written almost 6 years ago)

25 Things About Me

February 5, 2009 at 10:29pm

PublicFriendsOnly MeCustomLevittown, New York AreaNational GridSee all lists...FamilyGo Back

1. Slow drivers on a highway's left lane frustrate me. I will tailgate and flash my lights.

2. I really like my new job as Director of Inclusion and Diversity. I am learning a very different career and enjoying a terrific mutual respect with my boss.

3. I don't eat eggs. I don't even like the smell of cooked eggs. My wife and kids love eggs .

4. My strong belief of fate was cemented when I reconnected with Catherine after being out of each other's lives for twelve years.

5. I enjoy making others laugh.

6. I want to be an elementary or middle school teacher one day.

7. There's nothing like golfing where I can feel extremely exhilarated and maddeningly frustrated all in one afternoon.

8. I love being an Uncle to eleven wonderful people. I particularly cherish the very fun times when we were all younger.

9. Despite enjoying my corporate career, I would give that up in a heartbeat to be a stay at home dad. Catherine is tired of my frequent requests to do that.

10. On the day my dad passed when I was 22, I went to work, asked for a promotion and then told my bosses why I would be out a few days.

11. I love public speaking.

12. I really dislike stupid parents. Those who do not buckle their young kids in cars. Those who make empty threats.

13. I was ecstatic that I was able to play competitive tennis with two very good (and much younger) players last summer.

14. I fractured my leg while ice skating on a second grade class trip in Central Park. I have not skated since and have no plans to ever do so.

15. I do not have the patience to read books. Although I just read a 550 page autobiography of wrestler Bret Hart - my first book in over a year!

16. I'd be just as happy with a Big Mac than a $50 steak.

17. I do not like surprises. Particularly, people sneaking up on me.

18. After being the only Asian kid in 1st and 2nd grade in Manhattan, I felt very weird being one of many in 3rd grade in Queens.

19. I wish I had time to work out and lose twenty pounds.

20. I traveled to Canada just to see my favorite Broadway show, The Who's Tommy and to see Paul Stanley of KISS play the Phantom of the Opera.

21. I rarely curse, except to myself on the tennis court or golf course.

22. I absolutely love listening to and singing my favorite music turned up high while zipping through traffic in my '99 Chevrolet Prizm.

23. My favorite movie was E.T. I cried each of the seven times I saw that in the theaters one summer.

24. Having a wonderful, loving family with Catherine, Allison and Matthew is a dream come true.

25. I miss my mom very much. I think about her constantly and know she is very proud of me. All she ever wanted was to be remembered.

What I Think About on My Birthday

As I wake up on my birthday, I find myself contemplating a few things.  First, there's a new number to my age and it is indeed quite odd.  What is 47 anyway?  Am I still in my mid-40s? Am I almost 50?  It's kind of in between, isn't it?  

When I was much younger, I could not fathom what I would be at this age.  It just seemed so distant and so old.  Perhaps, I am considered old to those who have not achieved the maturity to appreciate life.  But, age is a relative thing and certainly an inaccurate barometer for health, attitude, wisdom and happiness.  

I can look at this day as just another one in a life that goes by too fast.  Or, I can use this as a time to reflect.  

Am I better husband, father, brother, and friend?  Have I matured, learned, and grown?  Have I pursued my passions and enjoyed life?  Have I made those who I care about laugh or made their lives better in some way?  Have I given more of myself than others have given me?

I ask these particular questions of myself often and when I cannot find answers that satisfy me at the moment, I chalk it up to life's continuing challenges and press on.  

So, as I celebrate this day so my children can have a moment to treasure, I remind myself of the never ending goal of being a better person.  I think of my mom and dad who would accept no less of me.  I think about all those people in my life, young and old, near and far, personal and virtual, real and fictional (um, that's a joke), and am thankful for their friendship and support.  I think of my children and hope that I make them proud, make them laugh, and teach them enduring life lessons.

I am far from being the best person I can be and each birthday is a reminder to me to keep trying!

13

13 years ago tonight, I became a dad.  I remember clearly the hours, minutes and seconds leading up to 9:59pm on April 12, 2001 when Catherine gave birth to our daughter, Allison.  Our newborn baby cried for just a few brief moments and just stopped to observe her new world.  She took it all in before being swaddled and presented to Catherine and I.  Since then, we have had countless joys and made many memories together.  

Allison continues to make us proud with the person she is.  Her caring soul, growing maturity, creative intelligence and clear sense of self defines our daughter.  Others may see her friendly personality, beauty, musical talents, academic achievement and athletic abilities but her best qualities are those she displays at home.  Her self-determination to do well against her own expectations far outweigh any desire for public recognition.  I am humbled to be Allison's dad.

Are your clocks going too fast, too?

Remember the Y2K scare from the year 2000?  Computers would stop working and our lives would be impacted in many ways.  Well, nothing happened and all was fine.  Or, was it?  I’m not so sure.  I think something did happen.  It seems that since then, time has accelerated.  Days seem shorter and months go by faster.  Perhaps Y2K sped up our clocks.  It’s the only explanation for how fast time is going for many of us. How else can I explain that 2013 has zoomed by in what seems like eight months?

It has been a very busy and eventful year for us.  We were saddened with the peaceful passing of Catherine’s mom after a long battle with cancer.  Since then, Catherine and her sister have had their hands full taking care of their aunt and cleaning out their mom’s apartment.  Seeing them care for their mom and aunt this year is a compelling reminder to enjoy the youth we have today especially since time seems to flying by at unprecedented speeds.

Allison is just a few months from being a teenager and has continued to mature in so many ways.  Matthew turned 9 and it seems he was a toddler just a short while ago.  I am so fortunate to be their dad.  I could not have imagined two better kids.  I just wish they could stay kids for a little while longer.

I have enjoyed my first full year as a stay at home dad immensely.  Making breakfasts and lunches, getting them to/from the bus stop, chauffeuring them to/from school, helping with homework, preparing dinner, and doing laundry may sound tedious but I have enjoyed it.  I treasure the opportunities to be with my children especially knowing how fleeting the moments can be.

Being a full time student has consumed a great deal of time and energy.  I’ve had classwork every month of the year (if I count the two days in August!)  I love what I’m learning but that has meant being on my laptop for 8 hours or more most days of every week to complete 33 credits this year.  Is it any coincidence my ability to see near objects has diminished significantly?

We’ve had a lot to love and remember about 2013.  Cruising on the NCL Breakaway, fun times with Matthew’s baseball team on and off the field, and Disney World were just some of many fun memories.  No matter what we do, it’s being with family and friends that really make our lives terrifically fulfilling.  We cherish those relationships and are thankful for each of those many special ones. 

I hope you also have many wonderful memories of your 2013.  With time moving so fast thanks to a mysterious Y2K bug, we need to make the most of every bit.  Here’s to an amazing 2014 for all of us.  Let’s start now!

Cruising Fun!

We just got back from a super fun week on the brand new Norwegian Cruise Line Breakaway which is billed as the largest cruise ship ever to home port in New York City.  We had an unforgettable family cruise on the NCL Spirit in 2007 and a great trip on the NCL Jewel in 2010.  While the Breakaway had the same itinerary to Florida and the Bahamas, we figured we would enjoy the amenities of the larger, six month old vessel and we sure did!  The Breakaway was immaculate, the service was terrific and the entertainment, activities and food were all fantastic.  Check out this 2 minute review of the seven days of fun.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQ16syq-xI8&fmt=22

We have our eyes on Breakaway's sister ship, the Getaway, which arrives in Miami in early 2014.  And, we are looking forward to an even larger ship, the NCL Escape in 2015.  It's time to start saving again!

My first summer as a stay at home dad was amazing!

Backpacks are ready. Kids will be in bed early for the first time in over ten weeks. Another school year is upon us.  While new memories are ahead, I look back at an amazing summer - my first as a stay at home dad.

We enjoyed so many new experiences including our first Six Flags theme parks (Great Escape and Great Adventure), daring ropes course, NFL football game and visits to the Bronx Zoo.  Two Bon Jovi concerts and All Star Game Weekend events at CitiField were thrilling. Road trips to Albany and South Jersey were fun.  Throughout the summer, we played lots of baseball and tennis, competed in town field activities, swam in the town pool and just enjoyed time with friends and family.

I thoroughly enjoyed creating and leading an instructional sports program and coaching my son's baseball team.  The players and their families even won a contest by cramming 25 of us into a VW Beetle at a minor league baseball game.  This summer, I somehow managed to complete three summer courses and deliver a TEDx talk at my high school.

So, while the summer break is over, I am satisfied we made the most of it. I hope you enjoyed these few months as well.  Time moves so fast for many of us and we can only aim to enjoy it to the fullest.  Now that the first day of school is upon us, what do we do next?  We're off to Disney World!

Click here to watch 25 of us cram into a VW Beetle in 35 seconds.