Suffering with Shingles - Week Two

Day Eight: The sharp abdominal pain that feels like cramps continue. It's like someone with two strong hands is grabbing my belly and twisting.  I am now taking Tylenol every six hours for mild relief that lasts for a few hours at a time.  I rarely take medication but I'll take any relief at this point.  An observation since the large rash appeared: showering does not cause any pain.  It just feels pretty darn weird soaping over the bumpy area.

Day Nine: I woke up at 2:15 AM to take Tylenol to ease the terrible pain. Five hours later, The relief dissipated and the sharp pain returned.  With one hour short of the six hours prescribed on the bottle, I am counting down the minutes while wincing in pain so I can take my next pills.  What a way to live.  I can see how and why some people are addicted to pain killers. 

Day Ten: The sharp pain is unbearable at times.  It's hard to describe but it just sucks the life out of you. I have little enjoyment these days and by all accounts, this can continue for another week or two. I take my last anti-viral pills today and can hope I started them early enough to minimize longer term effects.  With Tylenol seemingly mildly effective for just several hours, I'll try Motrin instead.

Day Eleven:  Motrin seems to have provided better relief and I've started applying Caladryl for the developing itchiness.  The good news is the rash looks past its peak based on color and density.  Also, the pain which was a "ten" just a day or two ago is now an "eight".  Still wince-worthy but better.  Could we go on our planned road trip starting in two days?

Day 12:  I was determined to join friends for a scheduled Mets game to celebrate my daughter's birthday, so I took two Motrin and hoped for the best.  I'm happy to report that this was my best day since the debilitating pain began over a week ago.  The episodes of pain were less frequent and milder.  Two more Motrin got me through dinner.  I think the worst is over.  Thankfully.

Day 13:  We made the decision last night to give our road trip a try.  We can always turn back.  I took two Motrin and hit the road with fingers crossed.  I made to the Crayola Experience and our hotel in Donegal, PA with improving results.  When I felt pain, the level was a "five" or "six".  Still uncomfortable when it happens but much more tolerable  The Motrin has helped and I am cautiously optimistic that the days of excruciating pain is over.

Day 14:  Sitting through the Pittsburgh Pirates game was even more comfortable than the Mets game just a few days earlier.  The pain has lessened in severity, frequency and duration.  I'm still not 100% physically as I have to move slower (like walking, bending, getting out of bed, standing up from a seated position) as I feel mild pain with such motion.  I think I will cut back on the Motrin and see how that goes.  Happier days are around the corner!

Suffering with Shingles - Week One

Day One: Uh oh!  As I'm getting dressed for tennis team practice, I lifted my T-shirt to discover a large rash on my left abdomen and extending to my back. Immediately, I guessed shingles and ironically, we had just talked about it the night before when I shared that my seafood guy at ShopRite had just recovered from shingles.  Before I could process my new discovery, my brother-in-law called to share that my sister is in the hospital for testing due to weakness and abdominal pains. So, immediately my own concerns were washed away. I also had to pick up my daughter from school before rushing to tennis team practice.  In this flurry of activity, I managed to text pictures of my rash to my wife. 

I went straight from tennis practice to CityMD urgent care where the check in process was incredibly efficient using technology at a handy kiosk.  15 minutes later, I was diagnosed with shingles and given a prescription for Valtrex, an antiviral medication to minimize the symptoms. I took my first pill an hour later.  I felt fine as I went to bed.

Day Two: The forecasted snow storm canceled school. The rash area filled in and I felt some sensation in the area but no pain or discomfort,  I rested comfortably all day in my PJs hoping that I caught it early. I watched Chinese sword fighting movies (my favorite genre as a young boy) to pass the time.  I was a bit more tired than usual and went to bed early taking extra precaution to avoid contact with my wife.  

Day Three:  A second snow day canceled school.  I felt kind of guilty laying on the sofa while Matthew and Allison shoveled the 10 inches of snow that fell overnight. I was wiped out and napped for two hours starting at 9:30am. The sensation and some brief moments of minor pain started setting in.  The rash area intensified in color and density.  With worsening conditions and that tomorrow will be a Friday after two snow days, I made the decision to take a sick day -  my first of the school year. I had hoped to go through a whole school year without taking a sick day. I know that's silly and ambitious especially since I teach 500 young students.

Day Four: Sensation and minor pain continued to grow. The area looked gross (but I still took pictures to share with my brothers who both had shingles.)  It felt weird to be home on a school day. I was bored and tired.  I watched Brad's Status, The Bad News Bears remake, and eight episodes of Fast Food Mania (although I fell in and out of sleep).

Day Five: The sensation had turned into pain that came and went.  It flared and lasted for 30 seconds regardless of whether I'm sitting, standing, or laying down.  We enjoyed a marvelous high school production of Mary Poppins however I had bouts of sharp pain throughout the show and, at times, could not bring myself to applaud the performances. I had to leave immediately after the curtain fell as my pain was more frequent and I wanted to avoid the rush of the crowd out the door.  I was exhausted that night.

Day Six: I was uncomfortable all day but the evening was worse. After sharing news of my shingles on Facebook, I was still unsure if I would work the next day. However, the pain from the shingles would give me a clear answer. That night, I had bouts of excruciating, cramp-like abdominal pain that would come and go no matter what I was doing (or not doing). They would last upwards of a minute causing me to wince and writhe in pain.  Despite wanting to be with my students, I made the right decision after a few friends cautioned me to avoid getting more germs while I recover from shingles. Staying home was the smart choice. I put in for a sick day.

Day Seven: I finally gave in and took Tylenol at 4 AM because the sharp pain kept me awake. I try to avoid any medication. I know it sounds silly to some but I prefer to let my body work out problems on its own. But, this pain needed something.  .I had to take Tylenol again at 2 PM when I just couldn't relax and rest without sharp pain. That evening, we attended the Junior Honor Society induction ceremony at my sons's school but I was again in such pain that it was uncomfortable to sit through it.  At the conclusion, I cautiously made my way through the large crowd and waited outside for my family.  For those who know how social I like to be, this will tell you how much pain I was in. Is this the peak of pain?  Gosh, I sure hope so.

Thank goodness for a loving family and caring friends. Also, thankful for Amazon Prime, Netflix, Sony PSP, and a new oldies station (101.5 The Breeze),to pass the time.  Lastly, stress balls to squeeze hard during the sharp pain.  

A Journey's Milestones - Time to Reflect and Give a Tearful Thanks

To reach a meaningful goal, there is a journey.  Along the way, milestones signify progress, help maintain focus, and provide encouragement.  In my journey to become an effective educator, I've reached such milestones.  Today, I am proud to pause for a brief moment in my journey to reflect as I graduate with a Masters degree in Childhood Education.

Recently, I completed my degree requirements with an amazingly fulfilling student teaching semester.  A few months later, I attained state certification to be a teacher.  While these were significant achievements, I treated them as mere steps towards my goal with little fanfare.  When my wife asked if I was excited to walk in this spring's commencement, I was indifferent seeing it as just another step.  I viewed all the hard work and sacrifice during the past 45 months as a foundation for the future. However, as today's ceremony drew nearer, I began to appreciate my accomplishment.  I even grew increasingly emotional about it. 

I've been thinking about all the genuine encouragement from family, friends, and acquaintances who know about my journey.  I recall sharing my decision to leave a wonderful career that I loved and the many colleagues who wished me well.  I think back to presenting a TEDx talk to spark young men and women at my former high school to define their dreams.  I am grateful when caring, experienced educators have generously shared their expertise and given me their confidence.  One recent moment that has made me particularly emotional is hearing from a young man how I inspired him to pursue his own passions. 

I also cry when I think about my mom who would have been so darn proud of me today. 

As I continue to share my journey with my children, I know they have learned a great life lesson.  They have motivated me.  Additionally, none of this would be possible without my wife, Catherine, who has been my biggest fan and has provided a tremendous amount of support in countless ways.

I am so extremely humbled by all the love, support, well wishes, and encouragement I continue to receive.  Just thinking of the many kind words have moved me to tears throughout writing this blog post.  Thank you so very much.

The journey is far from over however.  Now, back to work towards my goal of being an effective educator!

One Hill Climbed with More Ahead

Three years ago, I became a student again. The last time I was a student, there was no internet and the first George Bush was president.  It sure felt weird.  But, there I was in front of my laptop starting another step in my pursuit to be an effective educator.  

22 classes and thousands of working hours later, I embarked on the final semester of my graduate program.  On September 1, I became a student teacher.  I was beyond excited to get in the classroom to learn from experienced teachers and to work with students.  I looked forward to connecting, engaging, and teaching children who hopefully would be forgiving as I learned my craft. 

My expectations of this experience were surpassed greatly.  These past four months have been amazingly rewarding and fun.  I learned a great deal from some outstanding teachers. I also learned from each of the fantastically unique students.  

With lots of hugs, well wishes, encouragement and an armful of unexpected gifts from a great group of boys and girls, I bid farewell on my last day as a student teacher.  I absolutely loved being a student teacher and can't wait to have my own set of students one day.  

It is hard to believe that I have finished my graduate degree program.  Three years have gone by so quickly.  However, my journey to be an effective educator is not even close to complete.  I have some work to do for state certification next month and then I will join many others in the hunt for a job.  Until then, I am cherishing the many wonderful memories I will always keep of being in a classroom these past 17 weeks.

Curveball, Fastball, Hit!

There are times in one's life when things just work out well.  In such occasions, reflection can provide a fulfilling perspective.  For me, missing on an unexpected curveball thrown my way gave me the chance to hit an ensuing fastball out of the park. (Yes, a baseball reference is apropros considering I am writing this during a World Series game).  For the past nine weeks, I enjoyed being a student teacher working with a wonderful, experienced teacher who served as a terrific mentor.  We developed an outstanding working relationship complete with mutual respect from day one.  As I gained valuable practical experience, I learned, contributed and deepened my desire to be an educator

During this placement, the class went from a challenging number of students (27) to a more manageable one (19) when a new teacher was hired six weeks into the school year.  A number of school holidays, half days, and even fire drills made efficient planning necessary to accomplish our teaching goals.  It was a rich learning experience in a short time indeed.

During this last week, the teacher, students and I counted down the days to my final one with sadness.  None of us wanted to part company.  Today, while holding back tears, I bid farewell to students who then overwhelmed me with a minute long group hug, lots of individual hugs, and a book of heartfelt letters that conveyed how I helped them learn.  

I'm still so moved as I read these letters for a third time.  "You make me more confident", "I would not have figured out math without you", "you are a funny teacher and a fun one", "you made learning fun", and "you will find a new set of cool students like us but we will never find another awesome teacher like you."   Comments like these inspire me tremendously as I complete my journey to be a certified teacher.  Making positive impacts on young minds.  That's why I want to be an educator.   

If it weren't for that curveball, I wouldn't have had the chance to meet really great kids and their amazing teacher.  Don't despair over the curveballs that come your way.  Something better to hit may follow.

Birthday Reflection

Birthdays are a great excuse to reflect.  I think back to what I've accomplished in 48 years (wow!) and I am very content.  As a child, I didn't cause much grief for my parents (if you don't count a few failing grades when I started high school).  I think the most concern I created was when I fractured my leg during a second grade field trip to an ice skating rink.  Otherwise, my biased memory recalls that I was a pretty good son and brother.

I've succeeded in each of the jobs I've had even those that had me developing saliva-covered dental x-rays, pumping information from receptionists on the phone, vacuuming filthy rental cars, and driving to crime-ridden neighborhoods in a Pepsi van.  I had early success in my first full-time career as a retail manager but long hours made me realize the field was not a long term fit for me.  After attaining an MBA (the first post graduate degree in my family!). I enjoyed 19 wonderful years in various roles at one organization.  I grew in so many ways and retired with lifelong friends and lasting memories.

Perhaps the most gratifying accomplishment in my 48 years is the growth of my own children.  They are amazing in so many ways and I am so blessed to be able to nurture and enrich their lives with love, understanding and wisdom.

As much as I have accomplished, I pale in comparison to what my father did by the time he was 48.  He fought against a government which caused him to be separated from his family for eight years.  He left his homeland to courageously start a new life in a country that was completely foreign to him.  He worked almost every day in this land of opportunity for measly wages so his six children could dream of possibilities for their own lives. For his sacrifices, I will always be grateful and humbled and strive to make his efforts worthwhile.  Although he never physically met Allison and Matthew, I know if he did today, he would do what he always did when he was proud of me.  He would give them an acknowledging look of approval with a slight hint of a smile and say nothing.  It was his way of taking our achievements in stride towards even greater ones.

So, as I reflect upon my 48 years, I remember my father fondly and am so thankful to have learned so much in my far too-brief time with him.  For all that I have accomplished, I know there's way more ahead.  Onward and upward - but not too fast... I'm not that young anymore!

Best Father's Day Gifts Ever

As this Father's Day comes to a close, I reflect upon how fortunate I am to have two amazing children.  I know it sounds hokey but I really do feel that every day for me is a special one as a dad.  I can't imagine having a better experience as a dad.

I absolutely love the wonderful personalities and traits of my daughter and son.  Allison and Matthew are thoughtful individuals who think and care about others and about each other.  They each have a strong sense of self, style and confidence.  They are incredibly family-oriented with strong morals and a great sibling relationship, qualities so embedded in them that my mom would have been proud.  Their growth and achievement in academics, arts, and athletics stem from their self-determined drive. 

It is a joy to watch them enjoy their lives in their own way, succeed in their endeavors, and dream about possibilities.  I am thankful that we have such strong and deep relationships.  I understand my two kids just as much as they understand me.  As much as I teach them, I learn immensely more.  

We forgo the exchange of gifts throughout the year and acknowledge days like Father's Day with memories.  Today, I played tennis with Allison and Matthew, treated them to a DQ lunch, did grocery shopping and enjoyed frozen yogurt with Allison, and watched a Mets game and played baseball with Matthew after eating our favorite home-cooked fish dinner.  

Such wonderful memories are not only the best gifts I could ever have but the only ones I want for I am truly blessed to be my children's dad. 

Life is Long Enough for Detours, Pauses and Bumps in the Road

Last month, I started the final semester of my graduate studies.  After two years of online coursework, I was more than excited to begin on-the-job training as a student teacher.  Not only did I have a short commute to the school, I knew several parents, students and staff members including the outstanding principal.  It seemed like an ideal situation but one critical element was missing.  Perhaps blinded by my eagerness to be in a classroom, I underestimated the importance of an effective working relationship to foster a productive learning environment.  It would not be fair to share just my point of view here but suffice it to say that differing expectations led to a lack of healthy communication - or was it the other way around?

After the first few weeks, I reflected upon my education which I take very seriously so I can be prepared as much as possible to be a novice teacher.  With just 14 weeks in one's life to learn as a student teacher, I value this apprenticeship greatly.  Unfortunately, I was not in the dynamic learning environment I expected and wanted.  While most student teachers would try to just "get through" with hopes of a passing grade, I do not want to compromise my commitment to learn.  The opportunity is just too valuable and would be wasted if I'm not learning as much as I feel I can.  It would be a disservice to me and my future students if I didn't take this critical learning experience earnestly.  

After much deliberation with my wife and my supportive professors, I chose to withdraw from this semester and start over in the fall with an increased focus on the critical success factors.  With a great amount of thought behind my choice, I am confident this is the best decision for me.  It's not the first time I've made bold but deliberate decisions about my career.  Thankfully, they have all worked out really well.  Besides always believing things happen for a reason, I will still be ahead of my goal of graduating in May 2016.  I had intended to start my degree program after enjoying a year as a stay at home dad.  Instead, I got ambitious and hit the books hard just a month after retiring from my corporate career and haven't stopped since.

My unexpectedly challenging situation has been a great teaching moment at home.  I've been transparent with my kids with my thought process and decision.  I've shared that it is important to make personal goals, to stay true to those objectives, and to make decisions with thoughtful consideration of information and consequences.  I also stress that their happiness and well-being are paramount factors.  I tell them that with age comes the wisdom to know that life is long enough for detours, pauses and bumps in the road. Our actions are vital lessons for our children. I want my own to feel empowered to make thoughtful decisions about their own choices.

No rest for me though.  My wife has already started a to-do list for me! 

25 Things About Me - (written almost 6 years ago)

25 Things About Me

February 5, 2009 at 10:29pm

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1. Slow drivers on a highway's left lane frustrate me. I will tailgate and flash my lights.

2. I really like my new job as Director of Inclusion and Diversity. I am learning a very different career and enjoying a terrific mutual respect with my boss.

3. I don't eat eggs. I don't even like the smell of cooked eggs. My wife and kids love eggs .

4. My strong belief of fate was cemented when I reconnected with Catherine after being out of each other's lives for twelve years.

5. I enjoy making others laugh.

6. I want to be an elementary or middle school teacher one day.

7. There's nothing like golfing where I can feel extremely exhilarated and maddeningly frustrated all in one afternoon.

8. I love being an Uncle to eleven wonderful people. I particularly cherish the very fun times when we were all younger.

9. Despite enjoying my corporate career, I would give that up in a heartbeat to be a stay at home dad. Catherine is tired of my frequent requests to do that.

10. On the day my dad passed when I was 22, I went to work, asked for a promotion and then told my bosses why I would be out a few days.

11. I love public speaking.

12. I really dislike stupid parents. Those who do not buckle their young kids in cars. Those who make empty threats.

13. I was ecstatic that I was able to play competitive tennis with two very good (and much younger) players last summer.

14. I fractured my leg while ice skating on a second grade class trip in Central Park. I have not skated since and have no plans to ever do so.

15. I do not have the patience to read books. Although I just read a 550 page autobiography of wrestler Bret Hart - my first book in over a year!

16. I'd be just as happy with a Big Mac than a $50 steak.

17. I do not like surprises. Particularly, people sneaking up on me.

18. After being the only Asian kid in 1st and 2nd grade in Manhattan, I felt very weird being one of many in 3rd grade in Queens.

19. I wish I had time to work out and lose twenty pounds.

20. I traveled to Canada just to see my favorite Broadway show, The Who's Tommy and to see Paul Stanley of KISS play the Phantom of the Opera.

21. I rarely curse, except to myself on the tennis court or golf course.

22. I absolutely love listening to and singing my favorite music turned up high while zipping through traffic in my '99 Chevrolet Prizm.

23. My favorite movie was E.T. I cried each of the seven times I saw that in the theaters one summer.

24. Having a wonderful, loving family with Catherine, Allison and Matthew is a dream come true.

25. I miss my mom very much. I think about her constantly and know she is very proud of me. All she ever wanted was to be remembered.

What I Think About on My Birthday

As I wake up on my birthday, I find myself contemplating a few things.  First, there's a new number to my age and it is indeed quite odd.  What is 47 anyway?  Am I still in my mid-40s? Am I almost 50?  It's kind of in between, isn't it?  

When I was much younger, I could not fathom what I would be at this age.  It just seemed so distant and so old.  Perhaps, I am considered old to those who have not achieved the maturity to appreciate life.  But, age is a relative thing and certainly an inaccurate barometer for health, attitude, wisdom and happiness.  

I can look at this day as just another one in a life that goes by too fast.  Or, I can use this as a time to reflect.  

Am I better husband, father, brother, and friend?  Have I matured, learned, and grown?  Have I pursued my passions and enjoyed life?  Have I made those who I care about laugh or made their lives better in some way?  Have I given more of myself than others have given me?

I ask these particular questions of myself often and when I cannot find answers that satisfy me at the moment, I chalk it up to life's continuing challenges and press on.  

So, as I celebrate this day so my children can have a moment to treasure, I remind myself of the never ending goal of being a better person.  I think of my mom and dad who would accept no less of me.  I think about all those people in my life, young and old, near and far, personal and virtual, real and fictional (um, that's a joke), and am thankful for their friendship and support.  I think of my children and hope that I make them proud, make them laugh, and teach them enduring life lessons.

I am far from being the best person I can be and each birthday is a reminder to me to keep trying!

13

13 years ago tonight, I became a dad.  I remember clearly the hours, minutes and seconds leading up to 9:59pm on April 12, 2001 when Catherine gave birth to our daughter, Allison.  Our newborn baby cried for just a few brief moments and just stopped to observe her new world.  She took it all in before being swaddled and presented to Catherine and I.  Since then, we have had countless joys and made many memories together.  

Allison continues to make us proud with the person she is.  Her caring soul, growing maturity, creative intelligence and clear sense of self defines our daughter.  Others may see her friendly personality, beauty, musical talents, academic achievement and athletic abilities but her best qualities are those she displays at home.  Her self-determination to do well against her own expectations far outweigh any desire for public recognition.  I am humbled to be Allison's dad.

Are your clocks going too fast, too?

Remember the Y2K scare from the year 2000?  Computers would stop working and our lives would be impacted in many ways.  Well, nothing happened and all was fine.  Or, was it?  I’m not so sure.  I think something did happen.  It seems that since then, time has accelerated.  Days seem shorter and months go by faster.  Perhaps Y2K sped up our clocks.  It’s the only explanation for how fast time is going for many of us. How else can I explain that 2013 has zoomed by in what seems like eight months?

It has been a very busy and eventful year for us.  We were saddened with the peaceful passing of Catherine’s mom after a long battle with cancer.  Since then, Catherine and her sister have had their hands full taking care of their aunt and cleaning out their mom’s apartment.  Seeing them care for their mom and aunt this year is a compelling reminder to enjoy the youth we have today especially since time seems to flying by at unprecedented speeds.

Allison is just a few months from being a teenager and has continued to mature in so many ways.  Matthew turned 9 and it seems he was a toddler just a short while ago.  I am so fortunate to be their dad.  I could not have imagined two better kids.  I just wish they could stay kids for a little while longer.

I have enjoyed my first full year as a stay at home dad immensely.  Making breakfasts and lunches, getting them to/from the bus stop, chauffeuring them to/from school, helping with homework, preparing dinner, and doing laundry may sound tedious but I have enjoyed it.  I treasure the opportunities to be with my children especially knowing how fleeting the moments can be.

Being a full time student has consumed a great deal of time and energy.  I’ve had classwork every month of the year (if I count the two days in August!)  I love what I’m learning but that has meant being on my laptop for 8 hours or more most days of every week to complete 33 credits this year.  Is it any coincidence my ability to see near objects has diminished significantly?

We’ve had a lot to love and remember about 2013.  Cruising on the NCL Breakaway, fun times with Matthew’s baseball team on and off the field, and Disney World were just some of many fun memories.  No matter what we do, it’s being with family and friends that really make our lives terrifically fulfilling.  We cherish those relationships and are thankful for each of those many special ones. 

I hope you also have many wonderful memories of your 2013.  With time moving so fast thanks to a mysterious Y2K bug, we need to make the most of every bit.  Here’s to an amazing 2014 for all of us.  Let’s start now!

Cruising Fun!

We just got back from a super fun week on the brand new Norwegian Cruise Line Breakaway which is billed as the largest cruise ship ever to home port in New York City.  We had an unforgettable family cruise on the NCL Spirit in 2007 and a great trip on the NCL Jewel in 2010.  While the Breakaway had the same itinerary to Florida and the Bahamas, we figured we would enjoy the amenities of the larger, six month old vessel and we sure did!  The Breakaway was immaculate, the service was terrific and the entertainment, activities and food were all fantastic.  Check out this 2 minute review of the seven days of fun.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQ16syq-xI8&fmt=22

We have our eyes on Breakaway's sister ship, the Getaway, which arrives in Miami in early 2014.  And, we are looking forward to an even larger ship, the NCL Escape in 2015.  It's time to start saving again!

My first summer as a stay at home dad was amazing!

Backpacks are ready. Kids will be in bed early for the first time in over ten weeks. Another school year is upon us.  While new memories are ahead, I look back at an amazing summer - my first as a stay at home dad.

We enjoyed so many new experiences including our first Six Flags theme parks (Great Escape and Great Adventure), daring ropes course, NFL football game and visits to the Bronx Zoo.  Two Bon Jovi concerts and All Star Game Weekend events at CitiField were thrilling. Road trips to Albany and South Jersey were fun.  Throughout the summer, we played lots of baseball and tennis, competed in town field activities, swam in the town pool and just enjoyed time with friends and family.

I thoroughly enjoyed creating and leading an instructional sports program and coaching my son's baseball team.  The players and their families even won a contest by cramming 25 of us into a VW Beetle at a minor league baseball game.  This summer, I somehow managed to complete three summer courses and deliver a TEDx talk at my high school.

So, while the summer break is over, I am satisfied we made the most of it. I hope you enjoyed these few months as well.  Time moves so fast for many of us and we can only aim to enjoy it to the fullest.  Now that the first day of school is upon us, what do we do next?  We're off to Disney World!

Click here to watch 25 of us cram into a VW Beetle in 35 seconds.

Nine already?!?

Nine.   My son just turned nine.  Wow… and yikes!  I shudder with sadness at thoughts of how much he will continue to grow and change.  I don’t dread the future because of the different challenges it will present.  I dread it because that will mean my son will no longer be the sweet young boy he is today.  While he is just one year from having two digits for his age, Matthew still has much of the innocence that only a young child can have.  Oh, but for how much longer will I enjoy that?

Matthew reminds me so much of myself when I was his age.  He is kindhearted, gentle, polite, agreeable, analytical, imaginative, and never suffers from boredom.  Matthew has a positive and pragmatic outlook on life and the future. He loves being at home with his family but always has a fun time with his friends.  He enjoys school and academic challenges and while not naturally gifted in any particular sport, he is willing to work to improve for his own personal achievement.  My siblings even confirm that my son and I share many similar physical characteristics and personality traits at his age.

We do have different experiences however.   I didn't have the affectionate relationship with my dad as Matthew has with me.  I never snuggled with my dad nor did I learn to play any sports from him except if you consider reading the horse racing pages of the newspaper a sport.  I didn't get long winded life lessons nor zany attempts at humor that Matthew is subjected to.  My dad was a very reserved and stern man.  While I can’t turn back the hands of time, I know I can maximize the chance I have now.  The days of Matthew’s childhood are going fast and I am determined to enjoy as much of them as I can.

Happy birthday to the most wonderful son this Daddy could ever ask for.

The stress over assessments... sigh.

"Filling in the bubbles" testing is not new.  We completed such tests when we were in elementary school and they have been administered to students before and after us.  However, this year's state assessments in public schools to 1.3 million of third to eighth grade students in New York State, including over 200,000 on Long Island are causing more stress than usual for two reasons.  The tests are based on new standards and, for the first time, students' scores will affect individual teacher's performance reviews.  It's a perfect storm to cause concern for districts, administration and teachers who are all worried about how the assessment results will reflect on them. It's absolutely understandable especially considering how maligned the education profession has been by the public in recent years.  Educators walk on eggshells these days and that's a shame for many who are hardworking and dedicated to their profession.

Unfortunately, young students can be caught up in the stress.  But, that shouldn't be the case.  Parents need to remain calm and assure their children that this is just another assessment like they took a year ago and like the ones we took when we were in school.  Parents could share that their children are among many, many students taking the assessments.  If they have been near the top of their class throughout this school year, their assessment results will reflect that.  If they have struggled, the assessment results may get them the additional help they need next school year.  Most of all, parents should not add to the stress their children may be getting from principals, teachers, other parents and other students.  It's just another round of tests that will further validate what parents probably already know about their child's academic proficiency.

The bigger philosophical issues are whether the curriculum should be so rigorous and the assessments be such high stakes.  Well, Americans haven't been happy with how their students compare to others around the world.  So, we have a tougher curriculum meant to standardize widely varying state standards and increase the rigor of K-12 education so that we can feel better about how we compare.  And, the public seems to want teachers to be held accountable for their students' results.  So, we are now linking those results to teacher evaluations.  This is quite a simplification of the larger issues, but it just seems the public got what it asked for.     

As a future educator, it pains me to see how teachers are vilified by some as if they are enemies to parents.  It's a sad part of our culture.  It hasn't deterred me from pursuing my dreams of teaching though.  I've got over two years before I step into the changing profession (hopefully) and I'm sure even more changes will take place by then.  Coming from a corporate career where change and reorganization was constant from the my first year to my last, I hope I can fit right in!

My little girl is not so little anymore...

Twelve years ago today, one of my dreams came true.  I became a dad.  And, the experience has been far more joyful than I could have dreamed it would be.  I am deeply humbled to have such a wonderful daughter.

How did I get so lucky?  Allison is mature, intelligent, caring and beautiful.  She was born in the year of the snake and she is graceful and elegant as one.  She possesses a remarkable memory, fun personality and has always achieved academically.  

Some of the things that endear her to my heart the most are her love and appreciation of family.  My mom gave her a Chinese name that means to remember Grandma forever.  And, when I think of how much I miss my mom, one look at Allison reminds me of her love and devotion.

To her small circle of friends, she may be called Alli but she has always been my Sugar, a child quickly growing into a young adult who holds onto some comforts of her youth.  She is surrounded by many personalities with furry exteriors and insides of soft cotton.  Often, she can be found with our family iPad learning about and watching gymnastics and other squishy hobbyists.  She loves shopping with me and understands a good bargain. We have great conversations and opportunities to learn from each other.  And, she loves solving my lunchbox riddles and laughing at my zany, often spontaneous, humor.

But, how can twelve years go by so quickly?  I’m satisfied that I have made the most of this time and am so thrilled to be even more involved now.  The night she was born is a vivid memory as are so many other wonderful moments together.  From the first times we rode Dumbo, hit a tennis ball and saw a Barry Manilow concert to Allison playing viola in music festivals, graduating elementary school, and enjoying her favorite restaurants, we have enough memories in just twelve years to fill a library with scrapbooks.

I cherish the loving relationship we have and look forward to many more wonderful memories.  I am the happiest and proudest dad I know.  And, Allison will always be Daddy’s little girl – well, perhaps not so little anymore.

Opportunities to learn are everywhere

Life constantly presents learning opportunities especially if you are a parent to young children.  My out-of-the-box decision to leave a fulfilling career to pursue my passions has been an enriching life lesson to my kids.  My wife and I have connected how the life choices we made since college allowed me to do this.

Not everything in life is as inspiring as going after your dreams but much can present opportunities to learn.  Death of a loved one causes great sadness but the challenge is how to overcome that and move on with life while cherishing wonderful memories.  It's a harsh lesson for children whose heads are full of dreams and possibilities for their own lives.  But, it can be an enriching experience as well.

Our children recently lost their last grandparent.  Since then, we have had the opportunity to share our feelings, answer questions, reflect on warm memories, learn more about family history, instill culture, and discuss our beliefs and those of others on what happens after a person passes.  Through open and thoughtful conversation, our children can better understand how to cope with their emotions and what the loss means to each of us.  A sad event like this can help children better appreciate the lives they have.  It's a valuable life lesson they will never forget.

So, look for opportunities in your own lives to learn and teach.  They exist.  We just have to make the most of them.

Six months later...

Six months ago, I worked the last day in my 19+ year career at National Grid.  I honestly do not recall much from that Friday.  By the end of that week, I had all my farewell lunches and packed my memories to take home.  So, my last day was rather anti-climactic.  I wasn't disappointed though as I left a fulfilling career to start a new life - a life I had long dreamed about.

Being a stay at home dad has been all I had imagined. I love preparing the family's meals, helping with homework, doing the housework and being more active with school activities.  I've always been a homebody which is a characteristic of a person born in the Year of the Sheep and someone born under the sign of Cancer.  I am both a Sheep and a Cancer so perhaps this astrology stuff has some merit.

I had not originally planned to start my studies towards a graduate degree in education so soon.  But, I got ambitious and anxious to start my new profession.  As I started classes in early September, I began to realize how difficult it was to be a student again. A wonderful vacation in Hawaii and loss of internet for two weeks following Hurricane Sandy did not help with staying on schedule with schoolwork.  But, as any determined college student would do, I crammed to complete research papers, keystone assignments and other semester-ending work and got great grades in my three classes.

I underestimated how much work online classes can take.  Since the professors provide no instruction (at least in my first seven online courses), students have to do all their own research.  In my case, I am actually very interested in learning my new field of study and my research usually takes me off on interesting but time consuming tangents.  I need to get more disciplined to focus on the specific tasks at hand.

It's hard to believe it's been six months since I left my career.  I am a bit surprised that I really do not miss what I did.  I do miss my friends and colleagues but have maintained relations through lunches, emails and facebook.  I certainly haven't been bored at home with my busy schedule.  Instead, I am busier now than I was at work... and I'm loving it! 

Celebrating Life

It has been a year filled with life changes, new beginnings, amazing memories and challenging times. This summer, I left my corporate career to fulfill my passion of being a stay at home dad. After dreaming for many years of how wonderful it would be, the reality has been even better.  At the same time, I started college again to pursue my next career as an elementary school teacher. The first semester was not easy but I enjoyed learning education theory and observing two classrooms.

We visited Hawaii for the first time to enjoy my sister-in-law's wedding and attended Catherine's huge family reunion in California. We had so much fun with our West Coast family!  

Our family also enjoyed vacations in Chicago, Seattle, Charlotte, Hilton Head and Hershey.

After six years, Allison graduated from her beloved elementary school. For the graduation ceremony, I worked hard to create a year-ending video. The wild applause by the 5th graders, teachers and parents made the effort worth it!

Catherine's mom continued her battle with cancer throughout the year. However, she has been in the hospital these past six weeks and will remain in hospice care.  Catherine and her sister have spent much time away from their homes to be with their mom. 

While Allison, Matthew and I have missed Catherine, the devoted care she has provided her mom shows the love they have for each other and the values they hold.  With Catherine at her mom's bedside since before Thanksgiving (and continuing to work twice a week), our normally busy life has been a bit more hectic. While we didn't have time to make and send holiday cards this year, we are fortunate to have spent this special Thanksgiving and Christmas together at the hospital.

We were lucky to have not lost power during Hurricane Sandy and provided some relief to family and friends.  And, while the Sandy Hook tragedy took place dozens of miles away, the profound sadness struck me deeply as a father and future educator.  It is through such difficult times that give all of us the opportunity to appreciate what we have.


We have constantly reminded ourselves of all our good fortune.  We have two absolutely wonderful children and are fortunate that I could pursue my passions.  We are blessed with loving family and supportive friends like you.  Valuing time more than ever, we are enjoying the present as much as possible with an eye towards a sunny future.  


May the new year bring you much happiness and many opportunities to celebrate life!